The old stories play back in your head…
… an event, a relationship, a group of friends.
It’s hard not to compare ‘now’ to those days.
Life is so much harder to cope with, but you don’t want to go back.
You no longer connect to people…
“Did I ever really connect with them at all?”
Wanting to reconnect with your family – but you don’t know how.
You’re on a roller coaster of feelings.
You miss the intensity… you blame yourself for losing it… you know you shouldn’t blame yourself… you know things can get better.
So many things can cause emotional turmoil.
Events, groups, and relationships can create confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt.
The loss of a loved one, job, or relationship.
Horrific accidents and injuries.
Abuse – emotional, physical, or sexual – from those we loved or thought loved us.
Unethical religious or non-religious manipulation.
Some experiences even leave us doubting our reality.
It is hard to know who to trust.
And things will never change…
… if these feelings aren’t addressed.
Without learning what caused them, without understanding why your mind and body reacted the way they have, you are less likely to transform.
Are you ready to find freedom from
self-blame, anxiety, fear, and pain?
I have a solution.
Judy was depressed.
When she came to me, she had left an intensely religious group.
Judy was glad she was out but didn’t know where her life was heading. She found it hard to imagine that her life had a purpose anymore, and she no longer had contact with her extended family.
We determined that in her group, she had been taught to prepare for the Armageddon, which she no longer believed in. From childhood on, all the members spent their lives preparing for this event, which was going to happen “soon.”
Now that Judy was out of the group, she was able to see that she was feeling the loss of the intense ongoing ‘preparations’ and that she needed to work on feelings of peace and relaxation instead.
She could better understand her extended family’s perspective (although she disagreed with it) and was able to handle a chance encounter with them in a dignified way with the possibility of reconnection in the future.
Jim’s relationships were in trouble.
He came to me because he was having trouble with his parents and his wife. He didn’t understand it and didn’t want to talk about it, but he came to save his marriage.
We discovered that as a child, Jim had been neglected and was adopted when he was just two years old.
I taught Jim about some of the emotional problems that crop up when children are neglected or abused. I also taught him about some of the new brain science that has shown what these kinds of traumatic experiences can do to the body.
Jim began to realize that his clingy responses to his wife and guarded relationship with his parents might be affected by these early childhood experiences. He was more relaxed, slept better, and felt more comfortable in his relationships with his wife and parents. He enjoys their company more.
Lou and Mary wanted to communicate better.
They have a daughter who has been involved in a long-term relationship with a man they disapprove of. They believe he is a con man, but when they tried to explain their concerns to their daughter, it blew up into a fight.
When Lou and Mary came to me, they wanted to learn how to communicate with their daughter so that they could maintain their relationship with her.
We started by reviewing how their daughter became involved with this man, and then began to talk about the disconcerting ways he might be keeping her in the relationship.
By understanding some of these dynamics, Lou and Mary began to change the way they communicated with her on the phone, initially through texting and eventually in person.
Slowly, their daughter’s boyfriend began to drop his guard, and one day she asked if she could come home for a visit. Their daughter confessed that she wanted to leave this man but wasn’t sure how.
By then, Lou and Mary were prepared and were able to help her do that without pushing her away in their dislike of him.
Hi, I’m Vanessa.
Understanding how events, relationships, and groups work is the keystone of peace and restoration.
Whether understanding the new brain science, interpersonal dynamics, or group dynamics – being able to learn about these elements will allow you to make choices about your future without the guilt, confusion, and regret of your past.
Since 1980, I have taught people about the impact that groups, events, and relationships can have on their lives. My work with them has given them the insight to make choices they never knew they had.
I will listen to your concerns and provide tools to help you understand your experiences.
Using various methods and approaches, we’ll determine which areas you most want to work on with the clarity of your new knowledge, and together we’ll sort out the feelings and facts surrounding them.